Adoption is hard. I have heard this statement no less than six times. We are blessed with a church family that faithfully follows the Lord’s call to care for orphans. We have prayed alongside families as they have waited to bring home their son or daughter. We have listened to Sunday School updates about where they are in the process. We have attended fundraisers, bought jewelry, and donated money in support of adoption. “Adoption is hard,” they would say. I would nod my head in agreement as if I understood even a little bit of what they were experiencing… I didn’t, and probably still don’t completely understand how hard adoption really is. ADOPTION IS HARD. We have barely dipped our toes in the shallow end of the pool and I often find myself scrambling for my floaties like a small child who jumped in way over their head.
Right now adoption is hard for reasons that I didn’t initially expect. I anticipated the nervousness over choosing a country and the right agency. I was ready for the reality of needing to settle in for a long wait. I was prepared to start sifting through mounds of never ending paperwork. I was not prepared, however, for how the Lord would use adoption to open my eyes to the reality of sin tucked away in my heart. A good friend, and adoptive mother, said to me, “Adoption is life-changing… and not just for the obvious reasons, but also spiritually! It grows and challenges you!” She wasn’t kidding. My own sinful pride, doubts, and fears have become excruciatingly obvious with every step we take forward in this process.
Adoption is expensive. While we have definitely been blessed with the ability to care for a child on a daily basis once he or she is home, the cost associated with bringing home our child is overwhelming. Fundraising will be a necessary part of our process. Can I just say that asking people to donate money to help you bring home your child is humbling? Can I also just say that succumbing to the reality that apart from the Lord there is no way we could ever raise the necessary funds to bring home our child is incredibly humbling? By choosing to walk this path, we are proclaiming before God, family, friends, strangers, anyone, and everyone that will listen that we are utterly incapable of bringing home our child in our own power. I’ll tell you that can hurt a girl’s pride. I like to be in control. I like to plan and prepare. I like to do things independently. I have a little too much pride in my own ability to get done what needs to be done. The Lord has already graciously began to reveal to me the pride hiding in my heart, reminding me of our complete and total reliance on Him not only during this adoption process but every single day. Through dealing with my pride, He has begun working on my doubts of His ability to provide and fears of what I cannot control. He continues to confirm this calling He has placed on our hearts by already answering numerous prayers and unifying our desires. He is always faithful, and He continues to prove Himself time and time again.
I recently read a quote about adoption that says, “If it wasn’t worth it, Jesus wouldn’t have done it… or called us to do it.” Jesus laid aside his divinity to step into history, to walk in this sinful world, to live a perfect life, to die for my pride, doubt, fear and countless other sins, so that I could have the opportunity to be adopted into his family. I cannot even began to fathom how incredibly hard that must have been. He did it though because his love for you and I is overwhelming and his grace is absolutely immeasurable. I am called a daughter of the Most High King because of the adoption mission Jesus came on so many years ago. If he, Almighty God, can step out of Heaven to redeem and adopt me, then he is certainly more than powerful enough to make a way for us to bring home our child.
Adoption IS hard, but He IS capable and faithful to reveal the sin in my heart and mold me to look more and more like his Son. In light of who He is the adoption waters don’t seem so deep and terrifying, and I am reminded that I really don’t need my floaties after all.
One Way From Seoul 